Monday, October 02, 2006

Ein Peking, ein confit, ein L'Orange!!!

This one is for Cynnie, who had a brief post about dreaming the other day. After I read it -- my 'dream mind' kicked in!

It was very early or very late depending on your point of view. I sat on my front step with a perfect cup of coffee and a perfect croisant, waiting for the dawn. I knew I had to have a serious talk with the dawn, a talk I didn't want to have. Fortunately, I was spared this burden by the arrival of the Government man, who brought with him a large dossier and the unspoken assumption that I would do something about this.

Reading the reports in the folder, I was quite saddened. Someone was catching Ann Arbor's ducks, tattooing a swastika on their butts which, in dream logic, was turning them into Nazis. Hell I knew things were getting bad but I thought the ducks were just becoming neo-cons, not full-on goosesteppers!

Now I knew that they couldn't convert Ol' A2, but they would bring the OrangeClad With Permits which would be a Duckendammerung of our waterfoul, bad enough, but they would go home with just a touch of Treetown Socialism, bringing to counties that just wouldn't understand. I couldn't let our mallards become a Trotskite Fifth Column, even though they thought they were the Ducks from Brazil1

A montage began. Me, talking to ducks in a pond while I'm floating in an inner tube, talking to ducks in a hookah bar, talking to ducks strolling through the center of campus Thinking the Great Thoughts, talking to ducks under blankets at yet another frozen Michigan game...jaw, jaw, jaw instead of war, war, war, I thought. After much persuasion, some federal funding for homeless ducks, and some duck baksheesh, ( don't ask...but Canada will pay, oh, yes...) we got them to have a purge of their peers with the Chaplin moustaches. Only one problem remained.

Through an exhausting explanation, with photos, timing charts, and overhead ariel comparisons, the ducks were able to show me how off Ann Arbor's buses were from their posted arrival times, and if this were not corrected...some dire threat was hinted at, worse than 'mere' Nazism!

I finally had to ask: Why do you care about this? A duck pulled me aside and told me, "In dreams ducks always care about mass public transportation." A commission was set up forthwith...

And that's why they're dreams...


Camie Vog said...

I thought that was you in the Hookabar the other day...

Cynnie said...

I love that!..
i would wake up thoroughly exhasted after one of your dreams!!
oh..remind me to post the dream I had about you..
I'm blushing a bit


nazi ducks??? what r u on n can daddy have some he says