Lawn Darts -- Our way, Baby!

Well, this year the Girls team won, but I doubt they'll have enough air superiority to win next year!


We just finished....and let the feasting begin!

Heeeere's Ronnie!

Welcome back folks! Hope you enjoyed the Shopping Cart Drag Racing, The 100 person nude rugby tournament, and the best underwear award....Hey, hey, no, no, no, no...he can't come in here! Out, out you old vampire! Christsakes, you hire bouncers to bounce a few old reptiles once in awhile...never mind, I'll fix it...

The carnage continues...

Hi, welcome back to the all day birthday party for moi, and soon, we'll be.... What? I don't know, why are you asking me? Call Hef again! [Leans out window] Get those damn peacocks off the Squash court! The Co-Ed Nude tournament starts soon! Sweet Jesus, they're crapping everwhere! [Looks right] Hey, you! Yeah bald fat guy! Put that down, that's a Purdy shotgun, not your grandpappy's 30 ought 6!

Sorry folks, but I can't let the noobs spoil our Dirigible Pinata party! We've got flammable airships filled with candy! Can you make your score before the flaming airframe sets YOU alight? Oh, the humanity!

The Canapes, Crudities, and Carnage went by a bit ago, and the Topless Tapas servers have started their serving line....

I know it's a bit excessive, but I am a River to My People, y'know what I mean?

Use your imagination...

Some of the ladies have arrived...it's an all-day affair, natch...the birthday blinzes are gone already, and half the lox! None for me thanks...at 7:30 they're already playing "Bomb the twist" from the 5,6,7,8's....pacing, people, pacing! More reportage as the day progresses... What? No I don't have any Bailey's for coffee, go get some, and while you're out pick up like 3 dozen Krispy Kremes...

Oh sorry reader, different conversation...

Allrighty, Camie, a Better Shade of Scarlett

Well, Camie, I understand about the '80's hair. This was my alternate pic, taken at the Venice Film Festival with a rather nice Venetian Lion at sunset in the background and nary a knocker in sight! But somehow Scarlett looks sort of Ashley Juddesque here, and I wanted Herr Dinners to give me salacious commentary anyway...

How's this one?

Focus, focus...

What? No, no, Scarlett you don't have to bring anything...yes, yes, that's fine, nothing formal needed...yes, just having you at the birthday would be the best, really it would...best hurry though...Ok, good, see you there...

Will there be dancing? Probably!

Well, good to see Audrey's ready...where shall we go on the birthday? hmmm....

The Anticipation!

What's that Ms. Parker? That's right....the birthday is next Wednesday... well, yes, I can't wait either.

Suggestions welcome!

TheFS:Automat

Although I'm not 100% sure about this, I don't think TheFS will serve food, but rather, be a land where true desserts rule! And what better than to be served up by an Automat! Now, unlike most linear automats, I think TheFS will have an automat that fits in a semicircle, with a Waitron Plus Grande in the middle to handle all nonsense, and give occasional abuse. Each slice of this Semicircle of Sweetness could be themed, and I definitely want each drawer to have a bit of music. You pull the drawer that plays the Mexican Hat Dance, your dessert is free! It might be nice if all desserts were off the Liberace Scale of Decadence, and the Automat itself should be perhaps rhinestone encrusted. Dessert should not be simple and plain, it should aspire to ostentatiousness! If you're not in insulin shock at the end of it, we haven't done our job! Here are some of our samples!


Anything Sea Green or that looks like a mahogany frisbee, must be tasty right? The Panzer III would not be a normal offering, but perhaps as a torte. The heart-shaped creme brulees you give to losers at bowling. And the little bricks of Raspberry Spam? Hey, you're on your own there!

So, which one are you?

I saw this on UseMyComputer this morning, and I had to strike while the iron was hot! Today's theme question: Which one are you, the mouse or the frog? Let us know why!

Whomever thought association was "free", wasn't awoken by it at 4:00AM!

A friend of mine is kind of known amongst us for her religious watching of soap operas. She and I are in foul sorts, and she's got me to watch Tony Bourdain's food and travel show, No Reservations. Last night's show was totally disgusting, as I have no desire to be "entertained" by watching him eat freshly killed (and -- ahem! -- squeezed!) Warthog Asshole. I just couldn't watch it!

but then...my noggin gets me out of bed with a start playing an all-too familar theme...

Like crap through the Lower Intestine...so are the Days of Our Lives.


uhhhhh!!! Brain!!!!

TheFS: Kegler Kings

Of course, The Fluffy Stuffin' will have bowling alleys. I'm thinkin' two; this allows for many theme nights when they get named: Tango & Cash, Mickey & Minnie, Fred & Ginger...pick a theme we'll do it. Given the advances in wizz bang video these days, we'll have a cool overhead system that allows projections onto the lanes where, for example, a trail of fire will follow your throw down the lane! My favorite would be the curling broomsmen just ahead of your ball, which may be trailing fire! Many possibilities open up... Amplified sound will make your hits sound as if you were preparing for Ragnarok.

Next to the bowling alley will be the attached bowling alley restaurant, The Gutter. Right on top of the lanes themselves will be a line of chaise lounges, with swingarm tables for holding food and the like. If you get blasted by a wayward bowling ball on your chaise, you get some kinda Fluffy Stuffin medal!
The Gutter will have bowling related dishes: The Turkey, The Seven-Ten Split, etc...

No mere ugly rental saddle shoes here: our shoes will be designed/picked by The Manolo! And, of course, be Super Fantastic!

The annual highlight will be our "Come as your favorite Earl Anthony" tournament.(see pic!) Because you know you want to.


More ideas?

Note: "Kegler Kings" was a pen-and-paper game of bowling icons I knew many years ago...and still have fond memories of...

Let's play with it shall we?

Over at Althouse, I finally posted my idea for a cafe, which we shall hereby call The Fluffy Stuffin'. Let me quote my own posting about it, part of which is directed towards Victoria, whom I have given the use of "The Highball" for her restaurant.

I want to open a cafe that includes an automat for desserts, a bowling alley, a bit of coffee of course, a photo booth that will email your snaps to you, and one of those ex-cigarette machines that dispenses pack-sized Art in a box. Althouse may appear alternate Tuesdays, for a couple hours, to dispense legal and/or education related advice in exchange for slices of carrot cake. Palm & Tarot readings, fortunes told through games of Yahtzee, games of Risk, Life, and Candyland played for high stakes just like Texas Hold'em.... We'll do it all.
You in, Vic?

Victoria had a nice reply:

You in, Vic?

You got a deal buster!

Thanks for the moniker dispensation, as well, Ron.

I really liked your vision of that automat and though I'd probably do a skittles lane instead, I am bowled over by your Tuesday's With Althouse idea. (groan)

As for the Tarot readings, can we get one of those funfair machines with the automated gypsy? The kind you put in a shilling/nickle, and after a lot of shaking and hurdy-gurdy shenanigans from the belit gypsy, you got a little paper out with your fortune.

I once saw that in a film starring Hugh Grant called "Rowing with the Wind". He played Lord Byron during the weekend where Mary Shelley invented "Frankenstein".

Do any of you remember that scene where a mechanical belly dancer jumps out, and does a little gyrating strip-tease for him?

This is what passed for eroticism in the early 1800s.

Anyway, I WANT that machine for The Highball, Ron.

Well, I like some of that, but I believe we shall start a series of posts describing what is in The Fluffy Stuffin', maybe even attempting a drawing or two. We shall eventually conclude with a 'blueprint' or layout of the whole thing.

Michigan is -- not quite -- an island.

Last night I felt lousy. Couldn't sleep, totally a mess. Daybreak comes and I'm like some sorta zombie. My face ached. I didn't sleep so much as occasionally turn around and let the sunbeams knock me out. But I had stuff to do, and I did it. I felt all collapsey when I was doin' it, so I just turned my mood into Raymond Chandler-speak. Nothing forms your mind better than trying to rewrite the day as you would a script.

and on into the evening it went. But it got better, more than I thought it would. Some conversation and a few movies later here I am seeking not a person free island, but still attached to land, with water, water everywhere. And thoughts and feelings came in discrete bundles whipping around my head like bullets. Some I had to duck, some I took damage from, others I caught bare-handed. Does the net form that bridge to others like Mighty Mac? Maybe the night lets me be myself. You -- you the reader -- you're the best. I'm glad you came by. What can I get you? Some coffee and cookies? That sounds good doesn't it? I wish I had comfy chairs for us to enjoy; the ones I have suck. I want to enjoy it all, with you, for as long as we can stand each other.

I must post ere Camie go mad!

It's bad enough that I check my site meter too much, now Camie's been doin' it to. I blame the Bean, as it's good to blame them before they get born and start to fight back!

So...I had to explain to Victoria the meaning of Cold Lampin, and while I was rolling around in the Urban Dictionary, (which you should, it's a blast!) I found some FS related definitions:

CA Fluff Fluffs -- oh, yeah, baby...

Who hasn't done a Fluffy Bullshit Project?

With luck you have a Fluffy Butt!

But you don't want a Fluffy Walrus!

Peace Out