Sorry about not posting for a bit, but it's been a mess of small things holding me up, most of them not so good.
I've again been having trouble sleeping, which this time is leading to panic attacks that last all night and into the morning. These are terrible; I feel like a leaf in the wind, and just trying to calm down is difficult.
My left foot is sort of swollen and sore. Every answer for 'why' I bet won't cheer me up.
I'm running around doing a lot of small tasks to try to make sure I'm not thrown out of the house at the end of the month. So far, only about 25% good. Panic sets in.
My lungs are having a very hard time breathing, and they hurt in a raspy way, such that I have zero breath. I feel like I'm a 100 year old man.
But still....All this writing about AL has gotten me to start writing scenes, and filling out the plot more this week. That and watching all my Kubrick movies.
When I'm not panicking, I'm oddly centered. I think this is because I've been making a lot of efforts to connect to people lately, and these have tended to be women with small children, whom I'm enjoying more as I get older. I've also been a help to people lately, and have had some help come my way as well (Camie's futon!)
I've actually had 3 interviews this last week; not a job yet, but this is more progress than I would have thought.
Except for the lungs and the foot, I feel surprisingly good, physically! I've seen this in myself before. Once I can clear up the lung problems somehow, I get quite a bit of good energy.
I have to get The Little Man a birthday present soon...suggestions?
Send what vibes you can.